CRITICAL REVIEW OF PRACTICE

Final Major Project, March 2021

MA Photography, Falmouth University

Robert McMillan

Supervisor: Dr Wendy McMurdo

Project Title : Mother

My journey began with an archive of family photographs stored in an old suitcase in my attic. I was familiar with the photos which charted my ancestral past over the preceding 100 years. I had never met my grandparents, so it was the pictures of my immediate family which drew my closest attention. Initially, my work included photographs from the family archive of my three bothers whom, I hadn’t seen since my father’s death.

My Parents started a family relatively late for post-war Britain and when I came along in 1963, my parents were in their 40’s. I was the last of four sons which meant that there was a significant age gap between my siblings and myself. I only vaguely remember my older brothers living at home and so consequently, we never bonded. My siblings are living and I made the decision early on in the development of my project not to include them. I do not want to make contact with them at this stage in my life.

So as my work progressed, I decided to focus on my parents’ narrative, particularly my Mother. The relationship between my Mother and Father was fractured ; My father was a quiet, caring person, my mother had a more complex dual personality. She would often be loving and caring but could also be intolerant of others. This body of work is about my emotional response to the relationship between my parents and myself. The memories I have of the good times and sometimes, the bad (Fig 3).

Fig 3 Archive Image circa 1958 of my family before I was born

Initially, I had concerns regarding how I was going to tell this story. It was, after all, a narrative that some would rather hide. It’s sad to say that the only real memories I have of my mother, were of when she was angry. Being around her was like treading on egg shells. It was always better to keep away from her. What is the truth I ask myself? What triggered her behaviours? After thirty five years, my memories are clearly distorted, with many of my recollections obviously figments of my imagination. I was too young to really understand the situation my parents found themselves in, or indeed to view events – initially at least - through anything but a young child’s eyes.

Discussing this story outside the family unit is something I never intended to do and indeed my early practice scouted around the subject. It wasn’t until I read Annette Kuhns book 'Family Secrets' that I realised that this was a story that had to be told. In it, 'Family Secrets’, Kuhns says, '(these) 'shadows' are a proper part of life and must not - indeed they cannot - be split off from what is more agreeable or acceptable, to be simply hidden from sight'. (Kuhns 2002). Reading Kuhns' book was a seminal moment in my work and helped me understand that although I was focusing on the more conflicted aspects of my mother’s personality, it’s the imprint that this left on my life that was my central subject. It was something hidden in the depth of my memory for all this time and it needed to be scrutinised. From theses meagre artefacts, I constructed a narrative that I found cathartic and this laid to rest certain aspects of my past.

I wondered if anyone would be interested in my work. After all, a catalogue of old family photographs is hardly seminal. It reminded me of Barthes reflections on the subject, describing a photograph of his mother as a child "for you it would be nothing but an indifferent picture, one of the thousand manifestations of the ‘ordinary’(2000, p73). This is where I depart from Barthes words. I am revealing all and hiding nothing.

By coincidence, the first photograph that attracted me, was one of my young mother carried by her father (Fig 4 ). The monochrome image is blurred and looks almost contemporary, yet it was taken over ninety years ago. This picture intrigued me; the blurring had simplified the print giving it a painterly impression, as though the photographer intentionally highlighted the joy on their faces. Perhaps one of the rare photographs where my mother looks happy. The simplification caused by the camera movement, I found similar to Gerhard Richters paintings. He would use a monochrome palette and paint images taken from newspapers and magazines, yet transform them from the banal to a thought-provoking characterisation of the picture. This intentional simplification adds a timeless quality to the story. Although I was never there, I seem to remember it. This abstract blurring of the image creating movement through the taking of the photograph has to be used carefully, otherwise, it has the ability to become repetitious.

All the photographs I have used are from the archive or are constructed from found images and artefacts. At the beginning of this project, I began to look into the archive images themselves, using various methods to disrupt their surface. Similar to the way Sarah Davidmann in her book Ken…To Be Destroyed (Davidmann 2016), reworks her archive images as a route to better understanding the images and content.

As the project developed, I began to work more closely with a combination of re-photography, still life work and sequencing to further strengthen the project.

I have only chosen to manipulate the archive images if I felt it would assist in the narrative, mostly by cropping into a feature like the eyes and occasionally to manipulate the colour shift. Simplification of the image, less is more, is a mantra I have used on many occasions in my career. I like to reduce a design to its functional state. I often use simple backgrounds, usually white, so as not to distract from the subject.

This technique satisfied most of my requirements but I still wanted to add another dimension to my practice. I wondered if it was possible to produce three-dimensional masks, which could be photographed using natural light. The concept is based on the death mask used throughout history, perhaps the most famous is that of the Emperor Napoleon (Fig 5-6), but they can also be found for criminals and the disadvantaged. It is ironic that now the mask has become the emblem of the pandemic in the 21st century.

Initially I tried constructing the mask using torn up photographs applied with glue to a paper ground. This was effective but crude, so I explored other methods and settled on building the mask in 3D software and then printing using a 3D printer. This technique allowed for more accurate models which then produce a better likeness. This approach proved to be a steep leaning curve, using software I was unfamiliar with.The masks I created with this method are varied, some the full head and some just the face. The most accurate model I could produce was one of myself as I was able to photograph in a 360 degree radius. The photographs are imported into the software and the face modelled from them. I then printed the model and hung it on a mask stand (I had to import from France). This allowed me to use the natural light to create shadows. Once photographed I then overlaid it with my mothers and fathers images, producing a homogenises picture. Combining my face with that of my parents I am hiding behind their presence, after all that’s what a mask is for (Fig 7).

I was concerned, however, that using plastic was not ecologically sound. I have looked into the manufacture of the printing material (PLA) and it is made from renewable resources such as corn starch, tapioca roots or sugar cane. This concern can be pointed at nearly all photography, whether it's the manufacturer of digital cameras, using film and the material and chemicals required in this process.

I had been examining Tony Oursler's work, particularly 'Water Memory.'
Oursler, known for his use of technology in his practice, uses projected video on static images to express his narrative. I was particularly taken with the moving face and I did try a technique using software to make my mother speak. It was not successful, I was advised that producing moving images and using projectors in a gallery format, was perhaps too complex. I did however experiment with projecting still images on to a white wall and introducing artefacts from my archive, then photographing them as a still image. I have for the moment used this method in my final work but I had mixed responses from my critical reviews in Adapt21.

I have carried out a great deal of experimentation over the past term and I thought it important to demonstrate this. I have been careful how I use it, mainly using the projected images as a two page bleed to interrupt and pause the rhythm of the book (Fig 8).

To assist the narrative, I decided to add words to the pictures and initially I thought of questions which had remained unanswered. I decided however to write anecdotally, including passages of my own memories, that still disturbed me. Anna Fox's work 'My Mothers Cupboard My Father's Words (Fox 2000)’ is an excellent example of a piece of work which uses photography and text to vividly illustrate psychological anguish between parent and child. Fox used a narrative taken from the explosive relationship between her parents, juxtaposed with the neatness of her mothers cupboards. I later found out that Fox had used a papier-mâché mask in her work The Rise and Fall of Father Christmas to hide her sons face.

Writing the text proved the most difficult of all the tasks, both emotionally and intellectually. Writing the text, I thought it better not over complicate the story and keep it natural in its delivery. I wanted it to tell the story but not completely, as I wanted to keep some of the narrative unexplained. It’s important to me that the viewer is able to see themselves in my work and perhaps reflect too, on their past.

Fig 9. Vase with flowers and picture frame

A passage from the book

I recall that night clearly. We had been taking it in turns reading to you, not knowing if you could hear. The doctors had said it was just a matter of time before you passed. Strokes are devastating.

I read to you ‘All creatures great and small’, you loved the TV programme. I hope you could hear me. We were all so tired, the nurses suggested we get some rest.

We didn’t mean you to be on your own when you left. I will never forget that.

I’m sorry to this day.

I used a similar technique with my photography, with my image, ‘A vase with flowers and empty frame’ (Fig 9). Here I hoped the image would let the viewer read the picture as perhaps their own memory. I intentionally left the picture frame empty for that purpose.

I have had a good response to the text. In my recent talk during the Adapt 21 event, many found it moving and personal. Comments such as 'beautifully well written and brutally honest, 'emotional, moving work, beautifully presented' have given me more confidence in continuing with this.

Of the many books I have read, a number are interconnected and deal with family and memory soon after death. In my work, I was exploring the subject from a distance of time and hierarchy, being the youngest sibling. It’s clear now that secrets were kept from me, even as I grew older. To me Susannah Walker had an enviable position (in this context), in her book 'The Life of Stuff’ (Walker 2019). She writes about her reclusive mother who became a hoarder in her later life. Walker explains how she clears her mother’s house after her death and discovers her hidden and dysfunctional life. Redheaded Peckerwood (Patterson 2011) and Sugar Paper Theories (Latham 2016) although a lesser extent, as both are about criminal investigations and are closer in comparison with my work. Although different subjects, I too am having to piece together evidence, and lost memories. I am unfortunately unable to talk to witnesses.

The construction of my book is still in its early stages. I have created a dummy as this assists with how the book will flow (Fig 10). It also picks up simple mistakes with text size and positioning of the text with the images. One of the questions I’ve had is what size to print the book? At this stage and for ease I have printed it on A4 paper and folding it to A5. This allows me to print drafts easily with little waste. My original intention was to use different page sizes and is still something I am experimenting with. This would increase printing costs if the book was ever professionally printed but for a hand made book it is still feasible. Page colour and paper type are also an important consideration. A book I discovered last year and has influenced my work in terms of production, is ‘Montöristen’ by Swedish photographer Carl-Mikael Ström (Strom 2019). He uses a fine translucent paper throughout the volume and combines this with a loose textured cover which is embossed.

The current Pandemic has stifled all exhibitions (as it has, in fact for the most part of my MA). To date, I have been confined to sharing work and ideas in the online world. If time permits, I will build a computer model of a gallery space showing how my work could be exhibited. It will be interesting to see how the photographs and the heads interact with each other. Consequently, my project will form part of a book that I will continue to work on after my MA is completed for my submission.

There are many areas of my family story I have not touched upon but need to be included. Whilst I have been unable to exhibit my work, I have talked about it to my peers and mentors. I gave a successful talk at this year's Adapt 21, where I explained my methodology and showed slides and the text, which was the first time I have shown the wider public my work. I have to say I was very concerned as it was so personal but have had constructive feedback from my mentors and peers. I have also given an hour talk to the BA students as a visiting lecturer. Also, I have talked to MA students beginning the Informing Context study block and spoke at the Show and Tell event.

I have always suffered from imposter syndrome but talking about my work and receiving positive feedback has helped enormously. I am continuing to photograph in the last few weeks of my FMP and have another two important artefacts to add to my work.

A Nightingale Sang in Berkeley Square

The Heads

Conversation with Anthony Prothero

Exhibition Proposal

Critical Review of Practice

Supervision Meeting No.7

Adapt 21 Event Date: Sat 6th March 2021 Time: 16.00-17.30 GMT

Supervision Meeting No. 6

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